子曰：唯女子与小人为难养也 Is Confucius the Enemy of Feminism?

《论语·阳货》说“唯女子与小人为难养也，近之则不逊，远之则怨。”
中学读书时，对孔子这句“唯女子与小人为难养也”话留下最深刻的印象。当时并没有注意到这句话后面的‘近之则不逊，远之则怨’。一般入对孔子批评最多的也是则句话，认为是孔子鄙视妇女和体力劳动者的论据。。
现在再读和尝试重新了解孔子所要表达的意思。可是现在人对古文注解不易。
女子是指女性，应该是没错。。可是还有一种说法认为孔子这里所说的“女子”不是指一般的妇女，而是指那些上层贵族家庭的姬妾。
一般认为“小人”是指“儿童”、“孩子”。李泽厚引《朱注》：此小人，亦谓仆隶下人也。南怀瑾认为小人就是普通人。也有说“小人”也是指贵族家庭中的奴仆，但也不是最低贱的干粗活的奴隶，而是“有头脸”甚至是受宠的上等奴仆。
古代“养”字除“养育、奉养”外，还有“调教、教育”义：《周礼·保氏》：“养国子以道，乃教之六艺”。《礼记·文王世子》：“立太傅、少傅以养之。”郑玄注：“养者，教也。”
由于对词句的注解不同，就有不同的译文：
1。“只有女子和小人是难得同他们共处的，亲近了，他会无礼；疏远了，他会怨恨。”
2。“只有妇女和小人难以对付：亲近了，不谦逊；疏远了，又埋怨。”
3。“女孩子和厮仆辈调教起来特有难处，对他们太亲近了，会不听从调教，疏远了则心生怨恨。”
4。“只有家里的妾侍和仆人最难养。你若和他们近了，他将不知有逊让。你若和他们远了，他便会怨恨你。”
5。“只有女子与小人是难以共处的；与他们亲近，他们就无礼，对他们疏远，他们就抱怨。”
6。“只有女子和小孩子们不好培养，过分接近，他们就与你没正形，过分疏远，他们就对你有意见。”
谁是谁非，不是我们这些普通人能辨别的。
有人问于丹：“‘唯女子与小人为难养也’作何解释？这句话是否表明孔老夫子歧视女性呢？”于丹答曰：“‘女子与小人难养’这句话一直为学界所争论，目前比较普遍的诠释有三种。第一种最直观，就说女子和小人一样难以理喻，因为女子长期待在家里以致和社会脱节，又不读书从而见识颇短，就跟小人一般；第二种将女子拆分解释为女儿和儿子（即‘女’和‘子’），小人指小孩子，故解为‘小孩子很难养’，意思是说小孩子不容易带；第三种把小人也解释为小孩子，说女人就跟小孩子一样，‘唯女子与小人为难养也’后面还有一句‘近之则骄，远则怨’，说的就是女人和小孩子一样，过于宠溺她会侍宠而骄，不理她又会心生怨气。”于丹是倾向于第三种解释的，她不认为这是孔老夫子在歧视女性，至多只能说孔夫子对女性的娇嗔不太解风情罢了。
南怀瑾《论语别裁》里说得最好： 孔子说女子与小人最难办了，对她太爱护了，她就恃宠而骄，搞得你啼笑皆非，动辄得咎。对她不好，她又恨死你，至死方休，这的确是事实，是无可否认的天下难事。但问题是，世界上的男人，够得上资格免于“小人”罪名的，实在少之又少。孔子这一句话，虽然表面上骂尽了天下女人，但是又有集体男人不在被骂之列呢？

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It has always been not easy to translate accurately the Chinese classics into English. This is because the origin Chinese words and phrases are subjected to many possible interpretations. If inaccurate and inappropriate translation are widely read and accepted, it may result in wrong interpretation by the English readers of the real spirit of Chinese culture and philosophy.

One of the most controversial sayings of Confucius appeared in Chapter XXV of Book 17 of the Analects. It was translated by James Legge (理雅各; December 20, 1815 – November 29, 1897):

The Master said, 'Of all people, girls and servants are the most difficult to behave to. If you are familiar with them, they lose their humility. If you maintain a reserve towards them, they are discontented.'

The Chinese scholars are still debating hotly on the possible meanings of '女子' and '小人' without any conclusion so far. I believe the English readers have very little choice but accepted the meaning of '女子' as 'girls' since James Legge is renowned Chinese expert in the western world and his translation of Chinese classics are widely read.

This may explain why there are many people in west have described Confucianism as “the enemy of feminism”. They often argue that Confucianism is the source of the patriarchal society and may have produced significant works about Confucianism's role in preserving the idea of women's subordination to men; they argue that the idea of men's superiority to women is embedded in Confucian philosophy.

While I am not so sure whether this is the correct interpretation of Confucius' view on women, I do believe that the underlying beliefs and assumption in many cultures are that, beyond biology, women and men possess essentially different capacities and functions. Understanding this assumption helps make sense of the perpetuation and even institutionalization of male/female difference with regard to behavior expectations, position within the family, legal rights, public status, education, and types of work. While this most often results in the subordination of women’s position in society vis-a-vis men, it sometimes can be a source of women’s special strength.

In China, the concept of gender difference appears visually in the male/female aspects of the yin/yang Taoist symbol. The dark swirl within the symbol’s circle is the passive, yielding, feminine yin; the light swirl the active, aggressive, male yang. Neither principle is considered subordinate to the other; each complements the other and is capable of expressing both female and male characteristics.